Getting through the day, one cup at a time.

Out Of My Head And Into The Blog

on December 5, 2012

And then it won’t be in my head anymore, right?

I hope so.

I start school in January. I’m going to be receiving funding from the province, of which I will have to pay back a portion at the end of my schooling. It’s….tight. Now, I’ve always been used to living tight but this is really tight. Fiscally, that is.

I know that I have tons of things to be grateful for, and I am, I’m just worried. I’m worried that I’m going to have to magically come up with some money to buy the last 3 toddler gifts that I need to purchase. I’m worried that there isn’t money coming in January (I’m on my own until February) and although I have budgeted madly, I’m still worried that I will have forgotten something. Or that something unexpected will come up.

Do you know what I did today? I researched drug and dental coverage plans for my little family. For the two girls and I, everything – every single company – the monthly premium was over $100. As an alternative to that (since I live in Canada and severe medical emergencies are covered by the government) I have created a slush fund in my tight-belted budget that should cover the occasional prescriptions. I hope.

Since when did it become okay for me to start pitying myself again? To start feeling bad that I can’t afford to register the girls in any extra curricular programs this winter. Or maybe even summer. I know we’re going to be fine. That we’ll make it out on the other end all covered in sunshine and rainbows, and stronger for it. But I’m just worried at this point.

I’ll probably feel better in February but I just wanted to vent.


*exploding head from here*


11 responses to “Out Of My Head And Into The Blog

  1. kebibarra says:

    It’s all very worrisome I know , but hang in there!

  2. myhonestself says:

    Speaking straight from my own poor student mother experiences – its worth it!!!!! I feel like you are exactly where I was 3 years ago and I wish we could meet for coffee and chat about it all – but actually we wouldn’t go to Tim’s because we’re poor student moms so instead I’d make a pot of the cheapest no name coffee (unless Maxwell House happened to be on sale that week) and we could chat for hours about it! There will be plenty of ups and downs but overall, in the end, it’ll all be worth it!!!

  3. jestidwell says:

    Oh girl! I know how stressed you can be when you are living tight. It seems my whole adult life has been that way! But, somehow, it all works out. There are days when I can’t even see past the bills and “what ifs”, but then I’m reminded that my God will supply all my needs. If I need it, it’ll happen. If it doesn’t, then I didn’t need it.
    Kudos to you for furthering your education! You go girl!

    • Thank you. 🙂
      I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, but I also think that I should still exercise financial caution and I am worried that I may have bitten off more than I could chew, etc. I’m sure (about 70%, let’s be honest) that everything will work out just fine, I guess since things are so hazy and unknown right now I’m just scared. I appreciate your comment though! Maybe you could help pray for me. For my peace of mind and good judgement over the next two months.

  4. lorajbanks says:

    If there is one thing I have learned raising a family of five off of the “salary” of a server, it is this. When you really need the money, it shows up. You’ll be fine…there are plenty of people out there (including my broke ass) that would never let you starve. Plus, as if you couldn’t do some kind of dental craft in an emergency. I’m pretty sure you could craft a new furnace.

    • Hahaha! *This* is why we’re BMBFFs, just so you know. I’m trying to imagine paper mache-ing a new tooth for one of the kids right now and it’s hilarious! My new furnace would be me burning all of my other crafts in a steel barrel to warm the house. 😀 Thanks.

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