Getting through the day, one cup at a time.

That Tight Chested Feeling

on August 18, 2012

Ally starts school in less than three weeks.


We’ve done all the shopping: indoor shoes, backpack, lunch bag, containers, ice packs, unstained clothes. We’ve even started talking about what food she wants to bring.

Ally is a very confident, cheerful, independent little girl and I know that she is going to enjoy and excel at school. Why am I beginning to suffer from school-related anxiety attacks then?

Mild, thus far; the thought of her first day of school triggers physical reactions that begin with an increased heart rate. I can feel my pulse quicken as the beats become stronger. Run. I try to calm myself. Deep breaths. Slowly. My chest tightens. Smaller and smaller it squeezes around my heart. There’s no more room for my lungs. Involuntarily my breath quickens. Faster breaths to get the proper amount of oxygen. I want to claw at my chest. Rip it open to relieve the pressure.

Why am I so nervous for her to start school?


PS I have applied for financial assistance to obtain a degree. Wish me luck!


13 responses to “That Tight Chested Feeling

  1. lorajbanks says:

    If it makes you feel any better, I’m not sending Ruby this year. She’d be starting JK. She’s the same, totally capable, but I just don’t think it’s time yet. Not ALL DAY EVERY DAY!!! Sheesh! Four years ago she was in the womb for crap’s sake! I looked over the “curriculum” for JK she’s already got most of it down, so I’ll teach her the rest myself.

    I’m actually thinking of homeschooling her. And, I’m thinking about going back to school to get my BE and starting a school of my own. So there! You can send Ally if you like, but you have to come too. Good luck on your application for the grant!

    P.S. Hi! I know it’s been a while but I’m still alive!

    • I’m glad that you’re still alive!!!
      I have thought about homeschooling as well, but I really crave the social interaction for Ally. Giving her a chance to learn to problem solve with her peers and such.
      I’ve applied for a BA that is taught (with the exception of exams) entirely online so I will be able to stay at home and be where and when I need to be. (TAKE THAT English language!!) After that is complete then my current plan is to apply for Teacher’s College and later teach.

  2. myhonestself says:

    My son is 4 and starting JK. He started daycare when I went back to school and he was only 18 months! It was awful hard to send him then but he was at a home daycare and his big sister was with him every day. He’s since been in 2 other daycare facilities and spent the last year in preschool. I have had no fears whatsoever about him starting school and he is over the moon thrilled. BUT, a few weeks ago I bought him his first ever thermos (covered in superheros of course!). He was so excited to get it and as I handed it to him I completely lost it and burst into tears! Try explaining that one to that kids…….it’s so unexplainable! I have no concerns, I’m actually really looking forward to both kids being at the same school all day, every day – one drop off spot, one pick up spot, it’ll be great but even so, as I type this, my throat is tightening up……what;s wrong with me (and you)?!?!!



      This comment is so relieving. THANK YOU!

      I have no idea what it is. My assumption is that it is some emotion tied to the babies growing up and becoming *students* and more independent and BS like that.

      The first year of school is the beginning of a 14 year journey…maybe more if they pursue college or university!


      • myhonestself says:

        I do enjoy seeing my kids becoming more independent little people BUT at the same time it is hard to deal with because this is my child who at one point depended solely on me for their survival! There’s also the whole now they are out in the ‘real’ world being exposed to and influenced by things out of my control! It is a transition and I like routine, whenever anything changes I get out of whack emotionally…..I hope I can hold it together on the first day of school!! I guess the important thing is our munchkins are fine with the idea of school, it would be much harder if they weren’t sold on the idea!!

  3. Prayers and best wishes on both school issues!!

  4. Nina says:

    Best of luck! I’m sure she’ll do great. And good luck to you too for your own school 🙂

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